A letter addressed to the lords of Castle Blackthorn, and made public by Lord Blackthorn.
hay big king man!
yu thenk yu big? thenk yu strong? com fyn owt how strong yu ar! harles man! yu muther smel lyk rich sope! yu dog! luk for stachu yes? want big meen stachu to kil big meen nyt? cant hav it! myn now! i fownd it its myn! says yull tak my big ston! i no think so! all tak yu muther! wat yu thenk of that? yu muther a dog! yu futher a turd farmer! yu futher com farm my turd! wat yu thenk of that? breng yu big army! i no scard! me an big rats crush yu up! mak yu bones in me treshur! cant win! no try! yu scard! scard lil dog! yu pee yu big king pants! to scard! yu muther gonner be big rat mumma! wat yu thenk of that big king man?
~big rat king